Peaceful Passages End of Life Doula Services

What is an End-of-Life Doula?

A doula is a non-medical care provider who supports people through intense times, such as birth and/or death, complementing any available healthcare services. Humans have assisted other humans through these complex thresholds since, well, always. The doula role during birth was formalized (with training programs offering certificates) in the 1990s. A trained doula’s presence during the end of life, however, has been a more recent development over the past decade or so. Although doula services vary somewhat depending on gifts, strengths, and interests, doulas focus mainly on the tasks of planning, preparing, and processing.

What Type of Care and Support Do Doulas Provide?

Planning

Planning support can include advance care forms, such as directives and supplemental questionnaires. A doula will not make any medical or legal recommendations regarding specific decisions, though. Instead, we encourage clients to have conversations with their doctor or lawyer, and we offer to brainstorm questions together before those appointments. Doulas promote informed consent. We want to ensure clients have all the information they need concerning pre/post-death care, and to make their best choices in regard to living well during the time they have left. Additionally, details like scheduling appointments and visits as well as organizing meal deliveries and pet walking can be arduous alongside the emotional, exhausting journey at life’s end. Doulas can manage some of the minutiae so loved ones can be more present at the bedside. To aid in the process of releasing one’s earthly grasp, a doula might assist with “death cleaning” and/or bequeathing treasured items.

Preparing

Preparing includes setting up each client’s space and natural network of friends and family members for optimal living and dying (vigil) experiences — with contingency plans, of course. Doulas connect clients to beneficial resources when services fall outside of our role and scope. We research what is available in our local community and have a trusty directory list at the ready. We gently remind clients: It often feels “too early” until it’s too late, in terms of accepting hospice care, checking off bucket list items, or expressing what they hold deeply.

Processing

Doulas are story-catchers. We listen with sincerity and kindness. Many clients spend time reminiscing as time grows short. They appreciate invitations to vent and lament to someone who will not attempt to cheer them up or minimize their concerns. They want to reflect on memories, hardships, joys, and patterns of behavior. They might want to capture some of their stories in a more lasting form — legacy projects. Doulas help design customized options that can include audio or video recordings, a scrapbook with photos, a t-shirt quilt, artwork, or another type of gift that reflects the uniqueness of each particular person.

Published by Francesca Arnoldy

Contemplative Doula – compassionate heart, curious mind

Se habla español.